I know everyone is dying to know what we’ve done for the past two weeks while Zephyr and Eureka were at my parent’s house and at the NC coast with my sister and cousins. Was it dig out the well in the back yard so we can have free water for the garden only to get covered in anaerobic gunk? Was it go to the theme park without the kids so we can finally ride the rides they’re too small for only to get whiplash on the bumper cars? Was it put the finishing touches on the chicken shack and pen in anticipation of some yummy autonomic protein synthesizers? Or was it wilt in the heat in the morning then head inside to soak up the AC during a lazy afternoon nap? Or maybe we just tried to send an honest accounting of our time, only to be flagged by Net-Nanny and told that we were violating community standards, causing us to resort to personal platitudes and rhetorical questions?
Well, enough of the insightful explanations.
We will be in Eureka Springs this weekend for the Fat Tire Festival. Friday night we play at Sparky’s Roadhouse, and Saturday night we play the awards ceremony at the Pied Piper. If you love single track riding, and you are an avid consumer, come and check out this event!
Then we retrieve our children from their grandparents and we head straight to the nearest Wal-Mart. We have a little system in our family. You can gauge how spoiled a child is by how many minutes it takes them to throw a tantrum in the toy aisle. Your job as parent is to start the stopwatch and keep saying NO. Then you take the number of minutes to meltdown and multiply that by the number of tablespoons of sugar in a can of Coca-Cola, and that is how many days it will take before you have a normal interaction with your child again. Last year it took 14.28 days.
Then we will trot on back to Hot Springs, where, true to its name, it is HOT. This is the point in our lives where our kids head to school. The rest of August will pretty much be taken up by sock darning and mending frocks. Then the kids will rocket off to school, and we will finally get something done.
You might be asking yourself, “What ever happened to the Float Tour?” What happened was this. Rain, Rain, Heat, Heat. We hope to go in the fall, after we see how keen the administrators at the school are with kids missing two weeks of school. Heck! What could possibly go wrong?!
Sincerely,
Zac & Cheryl
The Itinerant Locals
www.polkayoureyeout.com
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